The Norwegian Onesie Finds Symbiosis on Robertson Boulevard

At some point, the fragment became the mystery. There we were, burrowing through space, 6.5 billion of us, all alone. We were fated to walk alone, go out alone, stay in alone, dine alone, drink alone, grow old alone, get sick alone, die alone. Henrik, Knut, and Thomas thought this unacceptable. On the seventh day, they created the OnePiece. Hark! What, pray tell, is that in the distance? Joined, pant and top are furrowed as one, linked as we are when we are born, together like that first onesie your mother swaddled you in. So, the three Norwegians set out to open stores across the universe full of cosmically united apparel, and it spread to Planet Bieber. Lo, we were comfortable, like you were at that age when everyone desired your comfort—and you melded together with all the things around you to create a oneness, a collective self, around which the sun orbited. The skin of your mother’s blessing, a zipper to the crown of your head, like the womb. Drink from the teat of a unified consciousness, sweet child.

The OnePiece Store is currently open on Robertson Boulevard in Los Angeles.