I have had a bumpy dating history, categorically only attracted to men who act like pirates. They are always striking, sometimes wearing a singular earring exposed behind a tendril of greasy hair, sporting cowboy boots that reek of burning man. These men are usually dotted with irregular stick and poke tattoos, swaddled up tight in Hedi Slimane jackets like sullen babies, awaiting rescue. They talk romantically about the sea (seriously), roam aimlessly, committed only to their own vaguely undefined compass. They disappear randomly, and when they are found, they are drunk or high.

During my spiritual awakening, my propensity to spiritually pedestalize these pirate men increased. The amount of synchronicities occuring in my life were excessive. I scavenged the internet, stifling through a myriad of mixed New Age trash in search of intrinsic existential truths.

The cybercult of Twin Flames, popularized by TikTok videos, YouTube tarot, and webinars from people wearing drop-crotch pants, has never been larger. The phenomenon known as “Twin Flames” is a concept that seems reserved to fairy tales, illustrating a relationship of mythical proportions. It is suggested that Twin Flames are counterparts that share a singular soul, and originates in Plato’s Symposium, dating as far back as 2,500 years ago. It was once said that humans were born with four legs and four arms. To keep us divided from each other, and divided from God, Zeus sliced us into two. Ever since, we have wandered the earth, in search of our other half. This is our divine counterpart, the person who represents both everything we are, and everything we are lacking. They are the divine masculine to your divine feminine, or vice versa. If you are a Red Scare enthusiast, he’s an Alex Jones-loving edgelord. If you are a trendy manga loving e-girl, he’s your grailed Death Note psychic protégé. If you are a bluepilled queer rights activist, they/them are fundraising through an altruistic groupchat.

Being the delusional romantic I am, I was all over the Twin Flamerhetoric. Ingesting YouTube explanations with the hungered velocity of a pig on amphetamines. My perspective oscillated. I switched from writing the whole thing off as a spiritual psyop against women, or wholeheartedly believing that my soul-mate/counterpart/cosmic enemy was to blame for the chaos in my life.

According to the lore, each pair of Twins are caught in an infinite reincarnation loop. Destined to magnetize towards one another, no matter the resistance or distance. Upon meeting your Twin Flame, there is a sense of deep recognition, a series of otherworldly occurrences and coincidences, and often a runner-chaser dynamic. This means that one person, afraid of their own psyche, runs away from you. Or perhaps, you run away from them. This cycle repeats endlessly until both parties have reached the pinnacle of spiritual development, and voila, you are finally complete. Able to finally reside with your predestined pairing.

Toeing the delicate line between deluded and enlightened, I have found myself constantly pondering the Twin Flame phenomenon. My alleged Twin first appeared to me in a dream, following an exhausting parade of Harmony Korineesque pirate boyfriends. When he did, he bulldozed through my reality, and tore everything I knew apart.

This quest rattled me awake, tested me to my limits, and incited the deepest shadow work imaginable. We were unable to have a conversation that didn’t spiral into uncovering the inner truth of the universe, or a massive fight. We share a mutual disdain for the government and are equal parts afraid of intimacy. He has clout, which I assumed must cause him blood clots, so I tried to remotely heal him from my bedroom. If I were to relay this to a psychiatrist, he would be proclaimed a narcissist, and I a love addict, but that’s why I turn to extensive psychic research instead.

Given my harrowing experience on the matter, I present you with my own distinct, lived, nine signs you have met your Twin Flame:

1. There is an immediate sense of buzzing recognition.
Maybe you might have matched on hinge for a second, or raya, or even that depraved sex positive app, but upon your first IRL encounter, you were electrocuted into remembrance of your own soul. God tier. To onlookers, you appear to be producing an etheric tornado that tears apart the sidewalk. You knew, upon gazing into the adderall eyes of this Silver Lake manchild, that every lover before and after him would be doused in his name. As a result, you both catapult into complete madness.

2. It is intense.
The similarities are uncanny and triggering. You are presented with everything you don’t like about yourself and need to heal, in the body of another. They are your vibrational match. Your mirror. You approach life at the same pace. It seems as though you have frequented the same locations at the same time, and your timelines are interlaced like tangled shoelaces. The sex feels like your souls swap homes. All of your intimacy fears inflate like a bounce house. You aren’t sure how to get off.

3. Runner and Chaser Antics.
After an erotic honeymoon period, the Kundalini energy at the base chakra awakens. As a result, both parties become aware of their survival fears, and usually move into a period of polarization. This means, each party writes the other off as the worst person they have ever met. Romantic. Once lovers, the Twins become more aware of the qualities they had denied within themselves and the other, and usually externally judge their partner. Spewing words of condemnation and harsh truth, this incites a period of rapid spiritual development. They split up, each condemning the other for qualities they individually need to integrate. This make-up-break-up process usually happens about seven times, exposing wounds at each chakra.

4. It forces you to look at your shadow.
While we may have endured mere mortal heartache before, once our soul experiences rejection from a Twin, our hearts prang open. It may feel like we have taken a huge step backwards. We reel back into the old addictions, revisiting habits and patterning we swore we were over. We are observing ourselves with different eyes. Despite needing to end the bond in the name of self preservation, the connection is beyond any human power. As a result, both parties are called to anchor in God, and assess their relationship to their shadow.

5. It accelerates spiritual growth. Despite the aforementioned split, once these Twins have encountered each other in this lifetime, they are never truly apart. Their respective lives follow a rapid period of accelerated change. Appearing in vignettes of each other’s realities, a slew of synchronicities haunt them both. Their lives, even if they choose to date others, involve a seamless compilation of meaningful coincidences that are both terrifying and exciting. A telepathic bond emerges due to the separation. It activates dormant psychic abilities.

6. It reminds you of your mission. If operating out of ego, the Twins will mutually tear each other’s false personas down. They see through each other’s bullshit. The egoic falsehood crumbles in the wake of such nuanced love. If you are a spiritualist who condemns material, your counterparts enhance your ability to DO. if you are addicted to accomplishment, your counterpart forces you to FEEL. This dance of duals catapults you forward.

7. Your paths are annoyingly and inextricably linked. Fated chance encounters, inconvenient run-ins, it may feel like it is impossible to get away from your cosmic enemy. You are always bumping into him, or vice versa. You sprout in each other’s reality like horrific holograms. There could be songs that seem to tell your stories, coincidences, repeating family dynamics, shared spirit animals. Psychic warfare at The Wiltern Celine show. Dolphin Sonar Echolocation at El Prado. You are psychologically naked. If self-aware, the pain exposed becomes most important, as it acts as a gateway into forgiveness, truth, and unconditional self love.

8. You share values. You intrinsically understand one another. If he’s a deep-diving conspiracy theorist afraid of AI takeover, so are you. If he is a happy-go-lucky himbo, you are an americana barbarella, chewing off your acrylics on the sidelines. You have the same outlook and receive the same insights at the same time. Although your coloring may be different, there is something internally similar about you. You both look like a compilation of lovers past and future. Your psychic kinship is obvious and unnerving, and truly reveals yourself to you.

9. You learn unconditional love. This is no Disney movie. As you tried on every perspective about your situationship and attempted to harden, your efforts were fraught. You have become aware of the more unconscious realm of love, exploring themes of envy, possession, and at times, hatred. This is the stuff of four-part Russian novels, exposing the primitive elements to your psyche. You determine that the pain unearthed, when navigated correctly, leads you to the core of your being. The spiritual gifts gained, so valuable, that you are finally satiated being alone. And for that reason, you are grateful. Interdimensionally compassionate. If for whatever reason you can’t be together, you love them from afar. Without conditions, restraint, or really any concept of time. 

It has yet to be determined if this is myth or madness, a fluke of spiritual narcissism, or a cosmic catalyst. Regardless, the most fantastical love story is the one we have with ourselves.

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