Photo Credit: Alex de Brabant
Experimental artist and Björk collaborator, Lotic’s new album, _Water,_ released on October, 29 via Houndstooth. [J’Kerian Morgan](https://www.instagram.com/lotic/?hl=en) (she/her) navigates personal hardships and difficult emotions with this new album, which finds Lotic exploring the vulnerable process of embracing intimate relationships with others and herself.
Having garnered a place in the industry for her expansive production style—nestling searing sound design next to pop music hooks, hypnotic vocal reverie and the lineage of Black club cultures—she now is introducing a new part of herself, a bold new direction for the artist, showcasing her voice and heart-filled lyrics for the first time.
_Flaunt_ talked to the artist about her music journey, the challenges while re-introducing herself as a singer/songwriter, and her desire to leave a mark on this Earth.
**Can you tell me a little bit about how you started your music journey?**
I started playing alto saxophone when I was 12, in middle school marching bands. There was a yearly prep rally, which, thinking back, prep rally for what? Like it’s not like anybody is coming to this game \[laughs\]. The marching band would pretend to be a marching band, they would go around the school, and I thought it was the hottest shit I had ever seen in middle school. The feeling that I felt I still remember, I was like ‘I want this power. I want to be able to give this feeling to other people.’ And I kind of never looked back. I joined the next year, when I was in 6th grade, and I did all the way through high school. Then in college I went into other parts of music but I was like ‘this is what I want to do’, cause, you know, I was in Texas, it’s too hot, I can’t be doing marching band. It’s too much. But at that time the movie _Drumline_ had just come out and I was like ‘oh my god, I have a community.’ Like now looking back it’s cringe, cringe, cringe, but it taught me a lot.
**You became a singer/songwriter way after you started making music, did you always write or is this a new thing you are trying?**
It is a newer thing, but it’s a thing I always wanted to do. I know people are like ‘oh my god she is like unlocking this new part of herself.’ No, actually I was singing the whole time, I just didn’t release it because it was, to me, not good enough. Also, I felt like I was saying enough in the production, which maybe was a little naive, because people need lyrics, people need to see a face, people need to relate in a different way. But I was so deep in music, that I was like ‘I said what I needed to say. I don’t need my voice on here,’ you know? And then, on _Power,_ I was like ‘ok let me say these sort of mantras, these chants. I won’t write full songs just yet,’ and then on this one I was like ‘okay now I am ready.’
**How would you describe your upcoming album, _Water_?**
Soft, healing, confrontational. That’s it.
**_Water_ was created from a period you describe as “having to be adaptable, while being dragged through the trenches.” Can you expand on that? What’s the story behind this?**
\[Laughs\] Well the process of making the last record was just crazy, in a way that I honestly don’t even have so many memories. Like my body has repressed it. Some of them are slowly coming back but it was such a dark time. I barely finished that record, because I was going through so many transitions, like with homelesness, and finances, and gender, and sexuality, and everything just felt like it was slipping through my fingers, so that’s why the original album cover was literally the male version of me and then on top of that the female version of me. You could see both of them, at the same time, because that’s how I felt.
And then on this one, I was just like, I know my strengths, and my weaknesses. I am still not quite where I want to be in terms of healing but I feel like I can share this with everyone else, who probably needs it. Like let me let it go now, because I am probably not the only person who needs to hear these hymns and chants. Just these words, these melodies, these harmonies. These sounds.
**Your music and lyrics come from the hardships you’ve gone through and the emotions you’ve experienced. And going to that vulnerable place could be really difficult for a lot of people. How do you reach that place?**
It was really difficult. It was difficult but it felt necessary. I felt like I needed to literally, physically release all of the stuff that I had inside. I am a person that will hold on to stuff, not grudges necessarily, some of it yes, but it’s also like I will take on everybody’s shit, and just carry it and carry it, and when it’s time for me to ask somebody for something that I need, when it’s my turn, I am like ‘who is going to take care of me?’
**So you use music to release that?**
Yeah and then I remind myself that I also have to turn to the actual human beings that are around me as well.
**So besides the lyrics, is the music different in this new album? How has your music grown as you’ve grown?**
Honestly, I felt like I said everything I had to say production wise, so I shifted the focus to composition and harmony, and obviously vocals. Especially after _Agitations_ I was like ‘I cannot make anything crazier than this.’\[Laughs\] I have nothing else to prove to anybody after this. Like these tracks are still insane to this day, so I am good on that. Let me just ground the production in with 808s, cause I am from Houston, so let’s just be hiphop, r&b, 808s, no other beats really. Of course I still have the same effects racks from 2015, it’s the same sounds. The metallic crashes have not changed, but I made them more the background rather than the foreground.
**You live in Berlin, and have DJed at Berghain and Chesters nightclubs, what have you learned from there? Has it changed you in any way? Being from Texas and moving to Berlin it’s a huge change.**
Yes, I learned a lot. I don’t think I could ever fully articulate it, because obviously it’s seeped in in subconscious ways too. But the things that I have noticed are that I am way more adaptable, I am also way more social. I am still an introvert, but I know how to turn it on when I have to. And I’ve learned that I can read people very quickly, in terms of are they feeling me or what I am giving or not? And that is very helpful in terms of safety as a black, trans person in Europe. It’s like ‘okay, do they know what’s going on? Do they care? How much do they care? In what way do they care?’ I can read that in 2 seconds, whereas before I would probably have been too conservative, maybe, I don’t even know before, that was a long time ago. I am a very different person. I’ve had several different lives here.
Musically, I’ve also learned how to take a bit more time with my productions. I make fun of nerdy, techno bros on twitter all the time, but they have actually taught me how to take some time, take a step back, maybe be a little more mathematical about my decisions. I owe a lot to this city for sure, I hate to admit it, but I do.
**What is your process for creating music? Do you write first or create the music?**
It depends on the song. On this record, I would say, it was mostly lyrics first. But if it was not, then it was the chorus’ melody first, and then like ‘this is catchy, what can I write to this?’ Those were kind of easier, but I was also like ‘am I really going to write a song about being horny? Yes, okay.’
**Where did the title come from, _Water?_**
_Water_ came from, first my artist name, which if you look it up you would understand, but then, over the course of making the record I was really thinking about how these songs are all about relationships, but then not really about romantic relationships necessarily. That was why I initially wrote them, but then, overtime, I realized that, _Apart,_ for instance, related to my mother and I was like ‘yeah this is actually about you too.’ Like you are so far away, and our relationship has gotten so much better because you are so far away. And I miss you but like stay over there for now.
And then Covid happened and it was just like ‘does music matter? What is really the purpose of any of this?’ And then since I can’t look to the future I started looking to the past, and then I found this whole new relationship to my ancestors, and how there is literally history in the water. We don’t have to get that deep, but anybody who has ever has a history class knows, so I felt like it was just the perfect title because it encompasses all of these things, plus my own healing and nourishment and fulfillment is just like water, it could heal you or it could destroy you.
**What is the biggest influence on your art?**
Honestly life, I know it’s a boring answer. I mean if you had asked me 15 years ago I probably would’ve answered a couple of musicians, but at this point I am just like ‘I am not listening to anybody else, what I am saying now, I HAVE to say. It’s not a cute, little experiment. It’s not a song that I just wrote on the train, like it’s some shit that I need to get out like for real for real.’
**What was the most difficult part/or was there a difficult part about re-introducing yourself as a singer-songwriter?**
I mean just the fact that that’s the typical route for a producer that wants to make more money, or be more out there, like of course you are going to add your little voice and try to be a singer, and it’s like this was my plan all along! Leave me alone! But also I didn’t think about it too much, but it’s more an image thing, especially now being a woman. It’s like ‘oh now you are just a singer,’ and it’s like no I still do ALL of it by myself. That for me is the main thing I am worried about, do people know that? Nobody else worked on this record, not a single person.
**In _Power,_ you say it’s important “to burn your print into this Earth because when you go, you need to remind the future bitches that you was here.” Is it still as important to you to leave this mark on earth, and why?**
Yes, I do. Especially people of color, especially queer people, especially women. You know, we are not really worried about the straight white man, right? They’ve written enough. But the rest of us, in any way we can, we don’t need to be famous and have statues of our own, but I do feel like nobody told me as a person from Houston, Texas that I could be where I am at right now, and I am not even at a great, huge place, but I would’ve liked to know that it was possible, and that’s what I meant by that. Let’s empower each other and especially the kids. Let them know that they can do whatever they want. There’s no rules. Fuck this catholic shit. None of this stuff is real, it has no real effect on your life. Do what you want to do, as long as you are not hurting anybody and being reckless, go for it and empower your friends too. Hire your friends, hire your family. We are here too and it’s more of us than they are of them.
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